Posts tagged ‘mom-daughter relationships’

May 21st, 2010


Sammy and Mikey

Families are about more than people. My immediate family consists of my husband, our Little Miss, myself and our two pets: Felines, both, named Sammy and Mikey.

Yesterday we learned that Sammy is ill. I have suspected something was awry for a little while now, but after procrastinating for as long as my conscience would allow I finally acquiesced, accepted the inevitable, and took her to the vet. My fears were confirmed.

It’s hard to deal with the loss of a pet, but even harder to be the one to explain it to your child. Having to look Little Miss straight in the eyes and tell her that this is the last weekend that Sammy will be with us, that early next week her Dad and I will take Sammy to the vet for the very last time, was, well…soul sapping. At her age, Little Miss understands death, she gets the finality of it all. She knows that “being put to sleep” is a pleasant euphemism used to camouflage the true nature of the act it describes, which really has nothing at all to do with sleep. And so, with tears pooling in the corners of her dark, almond eyes, I wrapped my arms tightly around her and mustered up the strength to issue the following pearl of wisdom and comfort: “I know, Honey. It just sucks.”

I am not a crazy cat lady, really. I just like my cats. Sammy was mine for 15 years, my longest relationship as an adult. Through my first marriage, my step-child, the birth of my own child, my divorce, my current marriage, and all that has followed, there was always Sammy, purring her loud, diesel-engine purr; pawing at my shoulder to remind me to keep stroking her calico fur; and following me from room-to-room, day-after-day, year-after-year, a subtle reminder of her constancy. I will miss her.

May 13th, 2010

Reflections in My Bathroom Mirror

From iStock Photo

This morning, as we prepared for our morning walk to school, I stood side-by-side with my daughter at our bathroom vanity. She fiddled with her hair, brushed her teeth and applied (with some need for re-work) her mascara. There she was, unaware of the scrutiny from my side-ways gaze and completely un-self-conscious. I was struck. The mirror reflection that I saw—not the one directly in front of me, but the one two feet to my right—was of a ghost from days gone by. There I stood, a young girl replete with newness, fresh and un-jaded, innocent of what lay in wait: challenges to be conquered, dreams to come true and expectations left unfulfilled.

In an instant decades long, I saw it all: Her future, my past, our present life together. The face of the young woman she will be, vaguely veiled behind the features of the child slipping away. I suddenly longed for the days of bed-time stories, bath-time frolics and hand-holding as we crossed the street. Approaching her thirteenth birthday, she reads herself to sleep, would rather die than have me anywhere near her bath and has crossed the street on her own for quite some time, thank you very much.

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May 3rd, 2010

“Vicious,” or “Good Girls Making Tough Choices”

On the weekend I went to a high school drama performance. It was written by the roughly 24 grade-nine and grade-ten students performing, all of whom were girls save for the four, brave boys who chose to stand in their midst. It was a series of vignettes, scenes derived from monologues written by the students and based on their real-life, early-teen-aged experiences. The students collectively chose to title their presentation “Vicious, a representation, according to the teacher, of their perception of themselves: The average 14 year-old girl.

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April 27th, 2010

Does Quitting a Sport Make us Quitters?

I recently read a post called “Try”ing Times on the blog Drama for Mama, at this link:

It addresses the issue of kids in sports—when to push, when not to push, when to let them choose, when not to let them choose, and when it’s okay, if ever, to let them quit. Apparently I’m not the only reader. This post has generated 32 comments and counting! It seems us moms have a lot to say on this subject, and we’re not shy about sharing.

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March 30th, 2010

After the Third Trimester

I believe that we parent our children in trimesters. Similar to the trimesters of pregnancy, each phase of parenting is characterized by unique developmental stages for both mother and child.

Parenting Trimester 1: From birth to full-time school-age, ages 0-6.

During this phase, as our children grow from infants to toddlers, and from toddlers to school-aged children, we, too, grow. At first we simply try to find our legs, dedicating ourselves to something small and precious in a way that we never have before, and adjusting our identities from woman or wife or partner, or however we previously defined ourselves, to mother. Many of us set aside years of education and hard-won careers to learn to function on three hours or less of sleep each night while seldom, if ever, going the washroom uninterrupted. We are blown away by the sheer power and force of mother-love. We believe that this is both the most challenging and rewarding time in a parent’s life, but we are wrong.

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March 23rd, 2010

Little Miss Posted Her Thoughts

My Little Miss Know It All has, for the first time, posted her thoughts.

To read her response to my March 23 post, Getting Started, click

October 27th, 2009

Under construction, but coming soon!

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