To be honest, and I’m all about brutal honesty behind the comforting veil of this blog, I am in a rut. Since returning from Europe I’ve felt displaced and out of sync; I am floundering and undirected. So here, now, for every-one’s eyes, is a list (a l…o…n…g list) of things I need to get back to Me:
I need more yoga. I need to stretch, breathe, bend and focus.
I need to write more, blog more, read more.
I need to find the eloquence of Earnest Girl, the honesty of Her Bad Mother, the commitment of PhD in Parenting and the moxy of the Yummy Mummy Club.
I need my husband to come home from his business trip. Things are better with him by my side.
I need to move. My place of residence and my body.
I need more tea, less coffee.
I need to watch less TV, eat more fibre, get more sleep.
I need to have a long, leisurely lunch with my girl-friends.
I need a FAB new pair of shoes. Something with heels. Something impractical. Something red.
I need my new 10-week-old kitten to overcome the retrovirus ravaging his body.
I need to judge less, embrace more and just say, “Yes.” What I need is an attitude adjustment.
I need to learn a craft, something right-brain oriented and therapeutic in nature: sewing, knitting, perhaps découpage?
I need rain. Not just any rain, but a heavy, cleansing, deluge from the skies to wash away the malaise and make everything new again.
I need fresh flowers on my table.
I need to de-clutter. My house. My closet. My mind.
I need a glass of fine red wine. Blasted Church vineyard’s Nothing Sacred would do very nicely.
I need fruit, organically grown and fresh from the trees of the interior of B.C. No hot house fruits need apply.
I need to do better. Just two weeks back into a ‘Regular Schedule,’ and this is what I have fed Little Miss over the past 36 hours: Take-out Chinese food for dinner last night (including deep-fried chili chicken wings, which, I suspect, are not really Chinese); a Starbucks ham-and-cheese breakfast sandwich and chai tea latte for breakfast this morning; topped off with a left-over dry ginger beef and Chow Mein (veggie Chow Mein, mind you, my one saving grace) for lunch today. I am contemplating pancakes for dinner tonight. I need to be less lazy. I need my “Good Mom” badge revoked.
I need to express patience when I don’t have it, gratitude for all of my blessings and to exude pure joy at the many, many little things that make me happy everyday. I need to remember these.
But mostly, I need to be myself. I need to let that be enough.
• • •
Anyone else out there stuck in an emotional rut? Tell me what you need to get back to You.