It’s official: I am taking yoga teacher training, starting mid-April. My registration is in, application fee and deposit paid, acceptance received, contract signed. Hooray! I have wanted to do this for quite some time, and now I am in. Except…
You know the saying “Be careful what you wish for”? That about sums it up. Ever since I hit send on my application email I have been consumed with anxiety: I am too old, too out of shape, too conservative, too ‘not yoga-y enough’. I am not vegan. I don’t chant. I cannot stand on my head. Oy!
Maybe I am not ready for this. Case in point: Yesterday I received my first, pre-course assignment. In an effort to embrace the opportunity and to not let my fears get the best of me, I jumped right in, completed the assignment, and sent it off. Done, like a true keener. Except, once again, as soon as I hit the send button I was consumed with doubt. I am, at this moment, completely certain that I misread the question and did the entire assignment incorrectly. I am constructing my apology/correction email in my head as I write this. I think I’ll do it all again, the way it was probably supposed to have been done in the first place, and dread meeting the instructor for the next week-and-a-half. Who knew yoga could be so stressful?
Damn send button.