SOS: WordPress for Dummies has Met it’s Match

SOS: Send WordPress help, stat!

I am not insecure about my level of intelligence. I am reasonably well-educated—more so than many, not as well as some. But I read. I write. I have articulate conversations with intelligent individuals about religion, politics, economics, the arts. I can contribute ideas and think creatively. I have studied logic. I am strategic. And I definitely do not suffer fools gladly: I have virtually zero tolerance for stupidity. Especially in myself. Which brings me to the point of this little tirade: There is one thing, and one thing alone, that reduces both the size and functionality of my brain to that of a pea: Technology. To be more precise: Code. I spent the better part of the morning trying to update my ‘other’ Web site. You know, my day-job, career-oriented, required-to-promote-my-company-and-maybe-earn-a-living Web site, the one that I should, in all honesty, devote far more attention too. And after several hours of hard work, research, writing and re-vamping, a simple download was all that was required to make it complete. One poorly navigated thematic update later, and this is what my site now says:

Fatal error

That is all. Sure, there are a few extra numbers and symbols and tidbits of mumbo-jumbo following this ominous phrase, but you get the gist: I have lost the entire thing.

I am ready to scream, cry, spit, pound my fists, curse the high Heavens, and throw my computer across the room.

Yes, it happened while preforming the simple task of installing a new WordPress theme. Now I have no theme at all. And no content. My portfolio is lost. There is nothing. Except. This. One. Line. Check it out and see for yourself at Share my pain.

This is not my first scuffle with blogging technology. It all started with a similar episode, way back when: Getting Started. You would think I would learn.

WordPress for Dummies has met it’s match in me. Apparently any “dummy” should be able to do this, any dummy, that is, except me. So here are today’s lessons:

  1. I will never update my theme again. (Someone remind me of this if start to believe I can.)
  2. I am only as smart as my latest update. (Not so smart then.)
  3. All other accomplishments are rendered meaningless when the cognitive capabilities of the proverbial WordPress ‘dummy’ are something to aspire to. (Hence the pout and Dunce cap.)
  4. I will NEVER be a programmer. (Like that was ever a possibility.)

If anyone knows how to fix this, send help!

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